Actual Ether

Here's a photo of me in the eighties. This was around October 1984. Who knew this kid would end up eventually becoming an indy icon?! Pulling off tragically hip this convincingly and with this kind of air of authority is hard for anyone to do (let alone a seven year old). But as you can tell this kind of thing has always come naturally to me, no big woop.



At the time, an artist of Michael Jackson's magnitude was unprecedented- during this era he was probably the best singer to ever have walked the planet (if you don't count Hendrix or Dylan) . A few months later I would see him perform live at the Astrodome during the Jackson 5 Victory Tour and would be severely disappointed. By the time I was in the fifth grade (three years later), I had hated his new material. I was fully aware that he was a phony - that there was nothing much that lay beyond his surface.

Twenty four years later almost to the date I would be lucky enough to end up meeting David Berman and his wife Cassie, at an almost canceled show at Walter's (almost due to the aftermath of Hurricane Ike). There was even this photo of me taken at the show and posted on the Houston Press Blog. (http://www.houstonpress.com/slideshow/view/146921/5)

We had been without electricity over a week. I thought a lot about and went back and fourth about bringing a copy of Actual Air to the show to get his autograph. I even brought my favorite pen from the office just to make sure the whole thing went smoothly. I approached him at the end of the show and although I can't remember much of our small talk, I ended up telling him with full sincerity and confidence that I loved him ( I sure as heck did not plan to do this nor could I have imagined ever being able to say this to one of my heroes) . But, it all just came out naturally and unexpectedly and was it surprisingly not awkward at all (I had also previously read that DCB was sometimes know as being difficult with fans). To this , he replied "Thank You, Seneca!" and then I immediately walked away.


David and Cassie!
Did you notice how me and David looked kinda similar that day!

I went home back to my room without electricity in the dark, played and sang "Pretty Eyes" to myself on guitar and sobbed myself asleep. I was evidently really touched by that small moment I shared with one of my all time favorite literary voices. I know it sounds really gay, but it was like the world winked back- it was seriously on the same level as if Holden Caufield had said my name back to me. It just really blew my mind and it would end up giving me much strength and hope and energy for years to come.

A week to the date from the Silver Jews show, Jenny Zell was visiting me from Pittsburgh. The power had just come back on. I did'nt plan on it, but I unexpectedly found myself playing and singing songs to her on my acoustic guitar. As a guitar player, you always think about playing to some girl- which was something that I had never done. I played "Ask" by the Smiths and "Interesting Drug" by Morrissey. Then I played: "Maggie May" by Rod Stewart and also "Silence Kit" and "We Dance" by Pavement. I couldnt stop friggin playin!!!

I closed out my little set to Jenny with "Pretty Eyes" a week after singing it to myself after meeting David Berman. Fuck if it didn't meansomething.

She probably doesn't even remember but three years before, on her twenty eight birthday I sent her a copy of Actual Air. It was appropriate because there was the poem "Self Portrait at 28". This also coincided with the release of the SJ's album "Tanglewood Numbers" on October 18- also Jenny and her twin sister, Katie's 28 birthday.

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tragically hip never came so easy for me.